Now if you’re an avid reader of my blog, then you may have noticed that last Sunday I didn’t have a post for you. Which I apologise for – though it’s crazy to me that so many people actually enjoy what I write at all, let alone come back for more…so thank you for that!

The reason I didn’t post anything wasn’t because I was swamped in University work (true though lol), but it was because I felt wildly uninspired and just couldn’t seem to write anything worthwhile, no matter how hard I tried. I even sat in front of my laptop for 2 hours and started to write about not knowing what to write about: not a shining moment for my creativity, I won’t lie.

But not only was I struggling to write a blog, I was struggling with how I felt overall. For a week, I felt more lethargic and insecure than I’ve ever felt in my life, and I’m not completely sure why. I just know that I didn’t like it.

Generally, I’m a very self-motivated and positive person but just because I’m like that most of the time, it doesn’t then translate that I’m always going to feel that way. So even though I only felt low for a relatively short period of time, it really made me have a think about what the bloody hell I’m going to do about it when it happens again. Since, let’s be honest, it’s inevitably going to happen again because I’m a human being and my emotions fluctuate. So lying in my bed surrounded by pillows, I decided that I need to be less harsh on myself when I’m not feeling too chirpy.

In that week there were moments where I was upset about things and began to tell myself that I was being stupid for caring about those things. But the truth is that if you feel something, then you can’t help feeling that way, and you need to accept that emotion as valid, because if you don’t then you haven’t helped yourself at all. No matter how much you tell yourself to ignore something, if it keeps popping up in your head then you should probably address it. Plus, it might not be anything that major once you’ve thought about it objectively. For example I kept telling myself that I was isolated from my friends, so I was moody, and then because I was moody I was isolating myself, so then I was isolated. Classic.

In the past year, through my exposure to the wider world and all the different types of people within it, I’ve learned that there are parts of my personality which I’ll never get rid of – nor should I want to. I love most parts of myself, but then there’s times where I wish I could change how much I feel things. I’m a super sensitive person and I’ll always be that way. On one hand it means that I care about people very deeply and always try to be kind to others, but then it also means that people disappoint me when they don’t do what I expect.

And then I cry.

Which is a blag.

What I’ve got to do though, is manage that part of myself: try to chill out sometimes when I’m sensitive to things that really aren’t a big deal. But then in other moments, recognise that I’m totally justified in allowing myself to feel the way I do. And thus, let myself feel it without any shame or guilt.

This, might I add, is a task that people struggle with for their entire lives so don’t beat yourself up when you get lost in your own feelings sometimes. The main thing we should all focus on is being kinder to ourselves. If something’s upsetting you then accept that you’re upset because you’re allowed to be, just make sure that you don’t stay down: eat some ice cream, remember you’re a bad b**** and work out how to get back up again.