In my generation, a big part of the way we connect with one another is through messaging. Some of the best laughs I have with my friends is when we’re all firing messages off in our group chat, getting silly over someone’s use of caps lock or a stupid gif they sent. But somehow society takes those moments of joy and laughter, and categorises them as pitiful or poor examples of ‘genuine’ human connection. All because there’s a screen involved.

In general people like to complain about the amount of time the younger generation ‘wastes’ in front of their devices, and I do I agree with many of the points made in that discussion. However, I don’t see how it’s exclusively the youth who stare gormlessly at their phones for hours. We have to give some credit to the grandmas out there being total Facebook queens: somehow they manage to share, like and comment on every family member’s posts the SECOND they’re posted. And that’s a serious skill which deserves some recognition.

So, yes, clearly young people are the ones who know all the newest apps and how to use them, but it’s not just us ‘wasting’ time on social media.

I’ve put quotation marks around the word ‘waste’ here because I think we need to stop being so constantly negative about social media. It’s no secret that there are huge negative consequences for our physical and mental health when we overuse our phones. And we know that sometimes the internet can be a really dangerous place. But even knowing all of that, I still don’t think that social media is exclusively toxic.

For example, there are a lot of people in the world who find solace in life on the internet. There are stories of kids who feel entirely alone in their physical reality, but the second they step online they feel freer to be themselves. For years children just suffered on their own in places they felt they didn’t belong, and now there’s always another place for them to go to feel accepted. How is that not worthwhile?

With everything, there are positive and negative aspects: there will always be examples of extremes on both sides. Surely, that doesn’t mean that we should solely focus on the negative extreme? What about the good bit?

Like for me now on Day who-cares-what of Peruvian isolation, social media has been a total saving grace for my state of mind. No matter my location or time zone I’ve been able to see, talk to, and even watch films with my friends. We’re still able to laugh hysterically together, and forget the fact that we don’t know how long it’ll be until we can give each other a big phat hug again.

I spend too much time looking at my phone: I know I do. I know that spending hours on end watching Netflix or scrolling through Instagram doesn’t do my mental health much good. I know that after a while it makes me feel lethargic, more self-critical, and a lot less motivated to do anything productive.

BUT, as much as we love to complain about it and as much as we know the problems it gives us, we love social media. We love to laugh at silly videos, we love to sit and message our friends for hours, and we love to zone out and just stare at a screen for a bit.

So let’s just start to admit that we can’t help but love it! Then maybe we’ll work out how to respect it, and have more of a healthy relationship with it.