Now, this blog is nothing if I don’t use it as a way to transcribe and elaborate on conversations I’ve had with friends, and recently, no matter who I’ve been talking to, all anyone wants to talk (or rant) about is dating apps. So, when in Rome…

Once again, we’ve found ourselves in the time of year when it’s starting to get colder, the days are shortening, and all of a sudden everyone’s hot girl summer is over and we’re all starting to feel self-conscious about our relationship status as we settle back into a work or university routine. Then, when we mix all these seasonal life changes with our reliable friend boredom, we end up sitting on the sofa watching tv one night, downloading a dating app to get some attention from a stranger. It’s a toxic tale as old as time.

Personally, I’m not a fan of dating apps. I don’t like trying to pre-empt which photographs best represent what I look like and how I am as a person, and honestly, every time I make a profile it just ends up making me feel lame because I can nEVER think of something witty to write in a bio. All of a sudden everything interesting about myself completely disappears from my brain, so I go for the less is more approach, but now I look boring. Then as the swiping commences, I get more superficial and judgemental than I would normally be as I over-analyse every photograph and bit of text I come across, looking for someone who’s done everything in their profile I couldn’t manage twenty minutes ago. Next, there’s the texting. Oh my god I hate the texting. I just can’t be bothered!!! Which is so silly because by the time I’ve made it to the texting part, we’ve both already established that we’re somewhat interested in each other, so this part should be simple. But nope, something in my brain switches and tells me that I now don’t fancy them at all because I can’t be bothered to small talk, so I probably keep the app for a couple more days until I eventually delete it again.

Although, I’ve not met a single person who loves having these dating apps, so why is it that it’s started to feel like you have to have them if you want to meet someone?

We say that we don’t want anything intense and we want meeting someone to be natural, but then we spend time on these apps which encourage us to be picky about literally everything. I mean, I aired someone the other day because he’d texted me asking me about three questions in one go and I felt like I didn’t have the time or the energy to answer. But if someone asked me those questions in person, I’d be all over it, so why did I air him just because he’d texted it?! WhERE is the logic? (The questions, by the way, were about my favourite book, where I’m from, and why I’ve moved here – all lovely questions, so I had literally no excuse to not answer them.)

When I sit and have these types of conversations with my friends, it’s funny really, because we can all identify that we’re acting in totally nonsensical ways just because we feel like we should have these apps and we should be talking to someone. But thankfully, I’m not lonely enough right now to be upset about not dating anyone, so the frustrations which come with dating apps aren’t hitting me as hard as they have before. This is partly because I’m constantly busy, but also because honestly, I – like many young people in this country – have accepted that the world of romantic relationships is a big old mess right now, and that you’ve really got to not let that get to you.

So, keep the dating apps if you want to, but make sure that you do like Marie Kondo says, and you throw them away if they’re not sparking joy.

There’s no shame if you download it again three months later though, we’ve all been there.

Xx