Tag: humanity

A little fish in a big pond

A little fish in a big pond

by elizabethmdouglas ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

As university students, often we live in our own little bubble. We learn, socialise and work all within the same groups, in the same places, mostly at the same times. But a not-so-wonderful consequence of this is that we can forget that we’ve invaded someone else’s city.

I was born in Durham and then lived here for 3 years before my family decided to move down to Bradford in West Yorkshire. I don’t really have any sentimental attachment to Durham itself, but the North East is where a lot of my family are from so whilst I think of myself as very much from West Yorkshire, this part of the country will always be very special to me.

However, in my first year of university I, like many others, got swept away in the excitement of it all. I barely ventured outside of the university world – by this, I don’t mean I never left college, I mean that everywhere I went was with my friends and either for lectures or drinking…So even though this is where I was born, by the time I started my second year I’ll be honest and say that I had very little knowledge of where I was living.

During my time in Durham so far, I’ve noticed quite a lot of rudeness from students to local people; both unintentional and intentional. I’ve been in conversations where I’ve heard students complain about locals being out at the weekend in the bars and the clubs, when I don’t really understand where this sense of entitlement to a private club night came from. These people are from here, and have as much right to a drink and a boogie on a Friday night as any student.

Also, whilst it is super annoying when your neighbour calls the police on you to make a noise complaint, you do have to sit back and remember that they’re probably not enjoying being woken up by a load of drunken students shouting on the street either…

I don’t mean to sound critical of student behaviour, because I’m one of the first to get giddy on a night out and go on a stupid adventure. All I mean to say, is that we do have to remember that we’re living within a wider community than our university bubble. So rather than shooting nasty glances at local people or ignoring them completely, start a conversation with your neighbours. This way, everyone can put a face, a name and a personality to who they’re living around.

I’ve spoken before about how important I think community is, and I think that now more than ever we really need to make an effort to not isolate ourselves from each other. Being a student is great, but it’s good to make sure that you’re not just someone staying in the city for the term; you’re part of the community living there.

Is this a witch hunt now?

Is this a witch hunt now?

by elizabethmdouglas ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Recently, I’ve been trying to learn as much as I can about the world and other people. Though I’ve always enjoyed asking questions, it’s been the past few years of my life when I’ve really made an effort to engage with what’s going on around me. But I’m not just talking about reading the news, or history books; I’m talking about asking my peers questions about sex and relationships, questioning those in positions of authority, and challenging my own views on things as much as I can.

I’ve not reached any definitive conclusions – obviously, I’ve been on the planet for about 20 seconds. However, one of the things that I have come to realise is that people have a real issue with trusting each other. It’s understandably due to all the corruption and deceit experienced throughout human history. But it seems that even in the moments when there’s no need to be so suspicious, we’re automatically assuming the worst of each other.

And that’s kind of sad.

I’m not saying that people should never be suspicious of others, I’m only saying that in always assuming the worst of each other, we’re really losing sight of the importance of community. To make matters worse, in the total tumult of a global pandemic, our own government are explicitly encouraging us to turn on each other. So it might seem like nothing, but the second our government urge us to snitch on our neighbours, that is the moment when our society has a HUGE problem.

Preaching about your civil rights is all well and good, but remember that you aren’t the only person in this society. You can’t dob people in just because you judge what they’re doing as wrong: it’s your right to live your life the way you want to, but don’t forget that your neighbour has the same rights as you. Let’s not have an ego trip and start playing judge, jury and executioner over a neighbour allowing another person into their own home. Frankly, taking that road leads society to dictatorships, ignoring the presence of concentration camps, and public executions. It definitely doesn’t lead to any kind of effective democracy – it never has.

Thus even though it can sometimes lead to disappointment, we really need to trust each other more. After all, very few people commit crimes sp there’s no need for us to assume that the worst will always happen first.

Government likes to dismantle community to strengthen its own control. But the government won’t be the ones rushing to your aid if you get knocked over by a car and start bleeding in the middle of the street. They won’t be there to speak to you when you’re lonely. They won’t be the ones you ask to look after your children whilst you run to the shop to get some more milk. So be careful about burning your bridges with your community: they’re the people you actually need.

Tiktok is getting me through

Tiktok is getting me through

by elizabethmdouglas ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

In my generation, a big part of the way we connect with one another is through messaging. Some of the best laughs I have with my friends is when we’re all firing messages off in our group chat, getting silly over someone’s use of caps lock or a stupid gif they sent. But somehow society takes those moments of joy and laughter, and categorises them as pitiful or poor examples of ‘genuine’ human connection. All because there’s a screen involved.

In general people like to complain about the amount of time the younger generation ‘wastes’ in front of their devices, and I do I agree with many of the points made in that discussion. However, I don’t see how it’s exclusively the youth who stare gormlessly at their phones for hours. We have to give some credit to the grandmas out there being total Facebook queens: somehow they manage to share, like and comment on every family member’s posts the SECOND they’re posted. And that’s a serious skill which deserves some recognition.

So, yes, clearly young people are the ones who know all the newest apps and how to use them, but it’s not just us ‘wasting’ time on social media.

I’ve put quotation marks around the word ‘waste’ here because I think we need to stop being so constantly negative about social media. It’s no secret that there are huge negative consequences for our physical and mental health when we overuse our phones. And we know that sometimes the internet can be a really dangerous place. But even knowing all of that, I still don’t think that social media is exclusively toxic.

For example, there are a lot of people in the world who find solace in life on the internet. There are stories of kids who feel entirely alone in their physical reality, but the second they step online they feel freer to be themselves. For years children just suffered on their own in places they felt they didn’t belong, and now there’s always another place for them to go to feel accepted. How is that not worthwhile?

With everything, there are positive and negative aspects: there will always be examples of extremes on both sides. Surely, that doesn’t mean that we should solely focus on the negative extreme? What about the good bit?

Like for me now on Day who-cares-what of Peruvian isolation, social media has been a total saving grace for my state of mind. No matter my location or time zone I’ve been able to see, talk to, and even watch films with my friends. We’re still able to laugh hysterically together, and forget the fact that we don’t know how long it’ll be until we can give each other a big phat hug again.

I spend too much time looking at my phone: I know I do. I know that spending hours on end watching Netflix or scrolling through Instagram doesn’t do my mental health much good. I know that after a while it makes me feel lethargic, more self-critical, and a lot less motivated to do anything productive.

BUT, as much as we love to complain about it and as much as we know the problems it gives us, we love social media. We love to laugh at silly videos, we love to sit and message our friends for hours, and we love to zone out and just stare at a screen for a bit.

So let’s just start to admit that we can’t help but love it! Then maybe we’ll work out how to respect it, and have more of a healthy relationship with it.